woah is me

disclaimer: profanity to follow.

there are many things the husband and i are not, but a constant in both of our personalities is that we are easy going. contention, anger and other emotions of the sort are not  typical in our home.  and i love that. we are more of the ignore-each-other-for-a-while type fighters rather than the scream-all- up-in-yo-face type. so, i can confidently say that the environment in our home is one of peace and ease.

the peaceful feeling in our home is one of those things that makes me feel good, like we are doing something right. i love seeing that Kate is secure, happy and confident to explore her curiosities. obviously, i credit some of this to what i believe is a happy, safe environment. i feel the security of our home and she feels it, too.

but.

....enter Mack, our dog. who i really do not love. at all.  and whom i cuss at. maybe a lot.  Kate probably thinks his name is actually that damn dog or, depending on the day and number of indoor potty accidents, possibly shit head. when i let him out to go potty, if he does not come back after the first call, i have started shutting the door secretly hoping he runs away. and when he pees on our fresh, NEW carpet that was laid not even 6 months ago, i most definitely yell. and am full of anger. lots of it! and that whole peaceful environment...yes well. about that. it kinda goes out the window.

and really, i need to get a handle on this. because unless he runs away (fingers crossed... kidding, kidding!), we are keeping him, FOREVER. i refuse to add Mack to my long list of dogs i keep heartlessly giving away, despite my husbands requests. i say heartless because i literally feel no remorse. zip. zero. none. that added to the fact that Kate LOVES him. like, really loves him. throughout the day she chases him around and terrorizes him, just laughing and laughing and laughing. the scene is straight of of a freakin' movie. and i do like the idea of a dog. a lazy dog that follows us around all day just being all mopey and cute and sleepy. not an over energetic dog that pees everywhere! what the hell. who would want that? fact: NO ONE. yesterday i was literally sitting right next to him and he sat up, squatted and peed RIGHT THEN AND THERE. no warning, no whining, no trying to hide it from me! right on the carpet. twice. come on, man!

so basically what I'm trying to say here is that I'm sorry. if in the future my child plays with yours and she pushes them away forcefully, tells them to go play in traffic, or calls your child a shit head... my deepest condolences go out to you and yours, for i am truly sorry. but please rest assured that i do not talk to my child or husband in that fashion. i am simply potty training a dog who seems hell bent on proving he is worth only what we paid for him; nothing.

so again, my apologies.

((also, are you worried there is a special punishment in the afterlife for animal haters like myself? ..ME TOO))

the damn dog:

11 months

11 months! right now miss kate goes around all day long jibber jabbering to everyone or no one at all. it sounds a bit like chinese and it's nothing short of adorable. she loves to be hung upside down, be on daddy's shoulders, to eat dirt (seriously) and do anything outside. shes in a little bit of a mama phase right now and cries when im not holding her, but i cant say i hate it completely. Except sometimes. shes easily entertained and laughs at about everything. still loooves sesame street. will eat pretty much anything we eat. looooves juice. we don't drink much juice in this house because i don't really love it and bj loves it a little too much ((as in, he will literally drink a half gallon of juice in one sitting. not exaggerating)). so although it's a rarity, when she gets chance to have juice, she takes after her daddy and gulps it down as fast as her little mouth will let her. oh and dont get me started on straws. yes, straws! seeing her little lips pucker over a straw is just freaking adorable. oh and shes a walker now! sort of. she takes 6 or 7 steps a few times a day, but prefers to crawl for the most part. she can give kisses and high fives. She will make her mouth into a perfect, tight little O and trys to say uh oh, but it only comes out as ooooooooooooooooh.

this little girl is something else. i love that she seems happy and secure in our little home, like she knows mommy and daddy are takin care of business. when i pick her up she gives me a look that says, "so mom, what's next on our schedule?" shes my little buddy and she knows it, it's my favorite.

funk

I'm in a funk and I'm not sure why. Don't you hate that? When you just feel bothered and blah but you can't pin point why. I do. So at this moment I feel like it's pretty much the worst. This funk could be because there are workers outside of the house right now and I fear they might wake up Kate. And if they do I'll have no choice except to kill them. Obviously. And then I'll go to jail...and that would suck. Or the funk could be because husband and I had a mini budget talk this morning and really, I just hate those. I always stress and think well wheres the extra money for this or that or these or...oooohhh that's the point of a budget you say? Hm. Like I said, lame. Or maybe I have no idea what the funk this funk is about and that's most frustrating of all. Yes, I think that's it.

I have every reason in the world to be happy and usually I feel that way. Really. As nauseating as that sounds, most of the time I literally think "holy crap, my life is freaking awesome".  And nooooo, it's not because I won the lottery or started a cool business or found my long lost talents even. But because while everything isn't perfect, what I have goin' on is pretty freakin' great. I have a beautiful little girl who is healthy and happy, a hardworking husband who loves our guts and a house full of projects over our heads. I belong to a church that gives me comfort and guidance on a daily basis. I know that families are eternal and have the chance to be with my little one forever. And that is something to be happy about, dang it! So I'm going to go be happy. And get out of this here funk. And take a shower. Yes definitely a shower. Because maybe in the end, it's just this 3rd day grease on top of this head that's weighing me down :-).

things to be happy about as of late

                                                                        yes please

playing in the warm weather with this babe

a competitive husband whose wife is better at juggling than he

getting to see this girl in a few weeks!

no caption necessary. but a little thankful those luscious cheeks aren't mine

that this babe is almost 1! what?!

window coverings that are finally in! and pretty ones at that

a husband whose sweet tooth I have converted to the dark side

THE END!

Someday

Someday I'll post about more than Kate. Today is not that day. Bc shes 10 months today and I've got a sweet baby book in the making, so I've gotsta do what I've gotsta do. Sorry :-). Life is going good out here though. We are all moved into the new house and alllllmost all unpacked. I love the new house. I love that its older and has quirks but that we were able to make it feel like ours with some of the updates we chose. We still have a lot (!!!) of work to do, especially outside, but it's a fun process. Im enjoying the work and endless projects a lot more than I realized I would. Having a little space out here is really nice, too. Kate and I go outside and pet the horses and ride around on the quad daily. It gives us something to do and she loves it. That girl cant get enough of animals in general. I fear I'm on the losing side of this "no inside dog" battle. Blast. what else.... My mom moved into our basement a few weeks ago, I made some curtains, got hair extensions, we saw wicked and I almost gave up sweets for a whole week...Sort of. Tristan is here for his spring break this week, that kid is hilarious and I love having him here. He's been a great helper and is so polite and funny funny. Anyway.. Life is good, busy and we are just trying to keep up! And Kate is 10 months, so here we go-

At 10 months- Kate is almost walking! Waves byebye, has starting getting into cabinets (ie everything, gotta baby proof - stat!), loves animals and being outside, has started a pterodactyl-esque screeching whenever she feels like it and it's weird/annoying?!, hates having her diaper changed, loves the dirt, and is even more obsessed with manny (the stuffed manatee) now.

This month was so fun! I feel like this is the first month that her own preferences have really come out and I love it. Sure she's had minor preferences before this but they've most likely been due to the fact that i expose her to certain things more frequently than others, yes? Yes. But now she has favorite books! Yes! The very hungry caterpillar, guess how much I love you and brown bear, just to name a few. Blueberries are her fav and she will eat them before anything else on her plate and then pterodactyl screech for some more. she laughs so hard when we tickle the palm of her hand and when we stop she reaches her little hand out again, waiting for us to do it. Oooooh, oooh such a fun stage this little girl is in. And dont get me started on sesame street. She couldn't care less about the tv but if if I put that on, the girl is hooked! Anyway, the end! I'll try to blog more soon!

9 months!!!

Oh 9th month, I like you! Actually I love you. It's funny to think that Kate spent 9 months in my belly and now she has spent 9 months out here with us. It goes without saying that the party outside is waaaaay better than the party inside. Although pretty much any party not involving pregnancy gets a thumbs up in my book. In the past 9 months the learning curve, sleepless nights, uncharted new parenthood territory ...all of these new, hard things seem to fade to a fuzzy backdrop for all of the good that parenthood has brought into our lives. Becoming a mother and experiencing this journey with Bj is really everything I ever hoped it could be, and it's pretty freaking fantastic. Kate makes our world go round, our hearts melt, stop and hurt all at the same time. I'm not sure how things could get any better than they are right now, but word on the street is that they do. Bring it.

At 9 months:
Weight: 18 lbs -- 30th percentile
Head: 17" -- 40th percentile
Height: 29" -- 85th percentile

Kate loooooves her binky. She is such a binky baby but I kind of love how everything is right in her world once she has that silly thing. She love love loves "manny", a stuffed manatee given to us from a friend. She drags him everywhere and gets so excited when we bring him to her. She loves to share food with us and will eat pretty much anything. Except yogurt with chunks. If it has even the tiniest piece of fruit she will open her mouth and let it all out. She's recently discovered she can take food out or spit food out of her mouth. So that's nice. Except not at all. She loves the horses, Dakota,  and to be tickled and chased all day long. She loves to be read to, baths and time with daddy. She loves her mama but daddy definitely has a special spot in her heart. She takes 2 naps day and for the most part sleeps pretty good at night.

Better late than never

8 months, baby girl! At 8 months Kate is almost crawling! She has been so close for the past month. Each week I proclaim that she will for sure be crawling by that weeks end.... Nothin yet but I think this is the lucky week ;-). She loves to bounce, be outside, take baths, her binky, real food, obsessed with gerber sweet potato puffs, thinks its hilarious to be hung upside down and have different sounds repeated at her.

She is getting so big and shows us more of her little personality everyday. Being her mom and having the opportunity to spend my days with her are just about the best things ever. We love you binkybear!

Cabin fun