Saturday, January 22, 2011

ode to maternity clothes

dear maternity clothes,
i do not like you. you tricky sons of b's. i remember my pre-pregnancy glee when i saw was going out of business, thus all the maternity wear was on clearance! i so happily bought your undershirts in a variety of colors. i was slightly bummed when you arrived and you looked so big. i tried you on, and indeed, i was swimming in you. i naively thought to myself, "i should have gotten maternity smalls! this medium is NEVER going to fit!". you can imagine my sadness as my old undershirts gradually stopped fitting...and now you, you "huge" maternity undershirt, you fit like a glove. i look at my old undershirts and wonder if i ever really fit into them or if i was simply wearing my clothes too tight all along. there are even a few that were "big" go to comfy undershirts, that i look at now and have doubt that i ever really fit into.

i remember going into maternity stores at 13 and 14 weeks, and happily buying maternity clothes. so excited over a cute shirt or cardigan that would look "so cute" once i have my belly. well, that is simply not the case. now that i have my belly, you are in fact NOT cute. so, i do not like all of you. every maternity shirt i ever bought and was excited to wear.

the other day i finally separated my closet into your side, maternity, and a non-maternity side. your side has a few non-maternity clothes that i can still squeeze into...but the numbers are dwindling. in fact, your whole side is so small and option-less. i look at the non-pregnancy side of my closet and think WOW! i had so many clothes! how did i not notice? when i fit back into those i will never need to shop again. now... we know that wont actually happen, but once i fit back into those little gems, i will appreciate them much more than before.

so yes, i hate you. and from here on out, i refuse to buy everything that has anything to do with you. if this means that at 9 months all thats left to wear are my stretchy pants and bjs t-shirts, so be it. i don't want you in large numbers or to stick around for too long. i am counting down the days until i can pack you away and not look at you again (at least for a year or two).

not appreciating your trickery,

ps. maternity pants, you are the exception. i love you and you can stay. i am not sure how i ever wore such confining pants. with your stretch and elasticity...the combination is just right. i may wear you forever.