Sunday, June 24, 2012

woah is me

disclaimer: profanity to follow.

there are many things the husband and i are not, but a constant in both of our personalities is that we are easy going. contention, anger and other emotions of the sort are not  typical in our home.  and i love that. we are more of the ignore-each-other-for-a-while type fighters rather than the scream-all- up-in-yo-face type. so, i can confidently say that the environment in our home is one of peace and ease.

the peaceful feeling in our home is one of those things that makes me feel good, like we are doing something right. i love seeing that Kate is secure, happy and confident to explore her curiosities. obviously, i credit some of this to what i believe is a happy, safe environment. i feel the security of our home and she feels it, too.

but.

....enter Mack, our dog. who i really do not love. at all.  and whom i cuss at. maybe a lot.  Kate probably thinks his name is actually that damn dog or, depending on the day and number of indoor potty accidents, possibly shit head. when i let him out to go potty, if he does not come back after the first call, i have started shutting the door secretly hoping he runs away. and when he pees on our fresh, NEW carpet that was laid not even 6 months ago, i most definitely yell. and am full of anger. lots of it! and that whole peaceful environment...yes well. about that. it kinda goes out the window.

and really, i need to get a handle on this. because unless he runs away (fingers crossed... kidding, kidding!), we are keeping him, FOREVER. i refuse to add Mack to my long list of dogs i keep heartlessly giving away, despite my husbands requests. i say heartless because i literally feel no remorse. zip. zero. none. that added to the fact that Kate LOVES him. like, really loves him. throughout the day she chases him around and terrorizes him, just laughing and laughing and laughing. the scene is straight of of a freakin' movie. and i do like the idea of a dog. a lazy dog that follows us around all day just being all mopey and cute and sleepy. not an over energetic dog that pees everywhere! what the hell. who would want that? fact: NO ONE. yesterday i was literally sitting right next to him and he sat up, squatted and peed RIGHT THEN AND THERE. no warning, no whining, no trying to hide it from me! right on the carpet. twice. come on, man!

so basically what I'm trying to say here is that I'm sorry. if in the future my child plays with yours and she pushes them away forcefully, tells them to go play in traffic, or calls your child a shit head... my deepest condolences go out to you and yours, for i am truly sorry. but please rest assured that i do not talk to my child or husband in that fashion. i am simply potty training a dog who seems hell bent on proving he is worth only what we paid for him; nothing.

so again, my apologies.

((also, are you worried there is a special punishment in the afterlife for animal haters like myself? ..ME TOO))

the damn dog:



6 comments:

Clint, Marianne, Sage, Charlotte, Emery and Ivy said...

that right there is why i will never in my life get a damn dog.

and....my life used to be peaceful and calm and wonderful like you describe. until child 3 came. not because she is hard--she's the easiest baby ever. but for some reason i have no patience for anything so our home is not quite as peaceful as it used to be. hope that doesn't happen to you!!

Heather said...

all I can say is.... hahahhahahha.

Paul & Marlee said...

OMG. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time.

I'd ship that thing off to dog school. Don't they have that? Maybe they have it for toddlers, too..

Good luck!

Amber Larsen said...

bahahahaha!!! I so needed this right now. That was too funny!! Sorry, I'm sure it's not funny to you but... just be glad you're only swearing at the dog. Me on the other hand, well let's just leave that up to the imagination.

Jake and Megan said...

hahahaha Oh my gosh that was funny! I'm sorry about the dog though...

Darin & Misty Ralphs said...

I remember when I used to have patience. That was when I had one child, so basically nearly 5 years ago. Sounds like you need a Cocker Spaniel or no dog at all. Our Cocker Spaniel is so sweet and lazy, I love it.